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Today I had my first real crash. Low speed (30 kmph) into the curb due to sand in the corner, and target fixation.

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It didn't help that I was overwhelmed with anxiety and emotional at the time. I've quit drinking alcohol, and have been on antidepressants for about 9 months. I've just quit smoking cannabis too because combined with antidepressants it is making my too spacey to do my job. I'm on vacation right now having just quit smoking weed. I no longer have quick fixes for my symptoms so it is starting out pretty hard. Anxiety seems through the roof. Doctor described lorazepam as an anti anxiety, but it's a low dose from what could research. If it's helping its much slower to kick in and less effective. But something is better than nothing.

I was distracted. I never should have been on the bike, and I never should have let the sand worry me. If I could have turned, leaned, and accelerated smoothly I would have been riding still. Instead it's parked for now. My wife was right behind me in her car going shopping so naturally she played victim. And now I can ride without getting a hard time from friends and family. They're going to hate on that motorcycle and gear that kept me completely safe, ignoring city crews that aren't cleaning the dangerous debris off the road. Let alone blame my mental health woes, or anybody partially responsible for them. The real cause of the crash gets away scotfree as usual.

I have no intention to stop riding. My bike seems to be in relatively good shape considering. But after rolling up in the curb I think gently highsided. Didn't feel any pain at all yet. Hoped up, told traffic I was fine, got the bike back up. There was the smell of gas. I'm hoping that just fell out of an open port when the engine was tipped over. It took me a minute to hit the key, but I think the automatic kill switches already had it covered.

My right turn signal arm got ripped right off. I haven't even found it yet. The plastics got a good scrape. My main concern is the forks. Looks like they took a nasty scratch too. My concern is they could be bent or something. I'll post again if I learn more. Until I'm sure of the damage I guess I have only 4 wheels. 😭
 

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Here's a few more images. A couple of new things found. The rear brake pedal is bent to ****. Also the stock can took a beating because I foolishly had my passenger pegs folded up. You're never too experienced to have a rough day and make a mistake.
 

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Oh. Right. I tried to force myself into Mr. Fixit and on the spot with inadequate tools or patience (or business) tried to fix the brake pedal with a hammer and needlepoint vice grips. As you can image I succeeded with flying colours instantly with the FIRST swing of my hammer. Thereby massively increasing the aerodynamics properties of the oil dip stick handle, AND microoptimizing the mass and balance and HANDLING of the ENTIRE motorcycle.

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I'm undiagnosed Asperger's and/or perhaps Schizophrenic (P.S. AKA psychosis) and your god only knows what else in your spacetime. I'm diagnosed [clinically] depressed, suicidal, [extreme] anxiety, disruptive sleep patterns, taking 40 mg Citalopram/daily (Earth) (20 mg x 9 months, 40 mg x 4 weeks).

I say that to say...

I'm so fucking glad that I got high tonight even though I'm not allowed to and I promised the world I wouldn't. 🖕😜🖕

15 minutes ago I was very seriously contemplating either suicide or violence. And now I'm stoned. And I feel much better. I even got creative and made some artistic works. They just ended up to be no good. Haha.
 

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Brake levers are cheap to replace. My exhaust has similar features, but not worth the expense of worrying about. Forks should. be okay, in a fall it is more likely the clamps will have shifted if they seem wrong. Shame about the indicator, but at least you survived okay.

Slow speed crashes may be unspectacular but they can still be bad as they happen instantly, so there is nothing you can do to protect yourself from the full impact of a fall. On separate occasions I shattered my elbow and broke my finger when the nasty stock tyres on my old 125 lost traction and went over so quick I only knew it happened when I was lying in the road. If you have not broken anything you did well.

Sunday was crazy here, I had a nice longer ride planned but when I checked the weather after waking up it was 26 °F / -3 °C to the west of London. Despite the forecast being for e high 50s °F / 15 °C later in the day, I did not fancy the cold and was not going to risk any ice. So I came up with a new shorter plan heading east and leaving later. Clear skies and a bit warmer, and it was so nice to be on the bike.

I have my own mental problems, which includes diagnosed autism, but riding is the one thing I have to help control it. And it has been a very difficult past year having to stay indoors for most of it. So some empty country roads in nicer weather was something I really needed. I always think it is because riding requires concentration, so doing it prevents other thoughts. Mind, I like the physical feeling of motion, so maybe there is some autistic calming thing in the motion too.

Although I had completely forgotten about the anxiety and depression that often can occur during the bit where I spend some time off the bike in public places in the middle of my trips. Nothing can be prefect, I guess. Everything has to be ruined somehow.

But drugs are not my thing, apart from my ten prescriptions for my physical health. Even anti-depressants have never worked for me. I did agree to try another one recently, but was suffering bad side-effects from it so had to stop. I am not even a big drinker. When I do drink it is for the flavour, if I drink for the sake of it I very quickly become intolerant of the alcohol, so the only times I get drunk are when it happens by accident.

But I have my bike, and with 60% of adults already had at least one vaccine dose in the U.K. hopefully I will be able to ride it this summer and escape the world for several hours every weekend.
 

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Oh. Right. I tried to force myself into Mr. Fixit and on the spot with inadequate tools or patience (or business) tried to fix the brake pedal with a hammer and needlepoint vice grips. As you can image I succeeded with flying colours instantly with the FIRST swing of my hammer. Thereby massively increasing the aerodynamics properties of the oil dip stick handle, AND microoptimizing the mass and balance and HANDLING of the ENTIRE motorcycle.

View attachment 72861

I'm undiagnosed Asperger's and/or perhaps Schizophrenic (P.S. AKA psychosis) and your god only knows what else in your spacetime. I'm diagnosed [clinically] depressed, suicidal, [extreme] anxiety, disruptive sleep patterns, taking 40 mg Citalopram/daily (Earth) (20 mg x 9 months, 40 mg x 4 weeks).

I say that to say...

I'm so fucking glad that I got high tonight even though I'm not allowed to and I promised the world I wouldn't. 🖕😜🖕

15 minutes ago I was very seriously contemplating either suicide or violence. And now I'm stoned. And I feel much better. I even got creative and made some artistic works. They just ended up to be no good. Haha.
Well hang in there cos the only way is up. And sometimes we need to look at life in a different way. It cannot be easy to find a positive, but there is if you look hard enough.
 
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